College Will Be Your Child’s New World

In providing college counseling to The Learning Consultants’ clients, perhaps the silliest thing I occasionally hear from parents, who are likely trying to calm themselves and their children down about the college process, is “it doesn’t matter where you go to college.”

I realize that some parents are saying this to defuse the competitive nature of the college process that seems to afflict affluent places like Shoreline, Connecticut.  I also know that, at least with some parents, they could unbundle the statement to mean that one’s career path will depend more on forces outside the specific college, such as character, choice of college major, interpersonal skills, and work ethic.

I’ll address all areas outside of the career path:

Location: Going to college in Boston versus North Carolina matters not only for the 4 years of college but also thereafter.  Friends/boyfriends/girlfriends, job opportunities, familiarity with the location all weigh. Many of my old college counseling clients keep in touch through social media, and I see that a fair number of them had their entire lives changed by their choice of college.  Those who went to California usually stayed there.  That’s why, as a family-first type I urge both students and parents to think of the implications of going to college far away.

People: Location has a more obvious variable that can be controlled.  But there is no doubt that the type of people within a college is likely the largest factor that will influence your child. Perhaps the craziest thing to think about is that your child’s spouse may come from the pool of students at your child’s college.  I tell people that I would have laughed, as would my high school buddy group of 7, if we were told that we would meet our wives in college. But 3 of us did.

Values/Mission: Colleges really do shape students, again, outside of the career path issue, and that matters.  There is something about Jesuit colleges that leaves an imprint on those who attend. Those who attend large fraternity-based colleges are shaped differently from those in smaller colleges.

Here’s an example: I had a friend whose son was accepted at West Point (the US Military Academy) and UCLA.   Will that matter in terms of how his life is shaped?

So, yes, where you go to college does matter.