Gratitude for the college process… REALLY?!

Why the College Process Feels Overwhelming—and Why It’s Ultimately a Good Sign

For most parents and students, the college process triggers significant stress. Standardized testing, essays, applications, fears of rejection, and—unspoken but universally felt—the realization that your child is preparing to leave home. It is a lot to manage emotionally.

Yet it is worth pausing for a broader perspective: if this is your family’s primary challenge, you are extraordinarily fortunate.

I readily recognize when positivity can be toxic.  But…

Remember when your child was a baby?

All you wanted was your baby’s health.

Then you added in a few areas over the years.  And then more and more.

Presumably, you wanted your child to be able to go to college (assuming you are on this site!)

And, your child is!  Congratulations!

If you knew what I know about the struggles of many parents who have children that are not college bound, you would feel very fortunate.

When a Child Is College-Bound, It Means Many Things Went Right

In suburban Connecticut, including the Shoreline communities, many parents hope their children will take the traditional college path. When they do, it reflects several positive realities:

• Your child performed well enough academically.

• They showed sufficient motivation and responsibility.

• Their character and judgment allowed them to reach this stage.

Contrary to assumptions, these outcomes are not guaranteed. I have counseled numerous families in recent years questioning whether college is appropriate because of serious concerns about grades, work habits, or readiness.

My opinion: families often underestimate how many things must go right for a teenager to become genuinely college-ready.

College Is a Remarkably Positive Environment

College remains one of the most supportive and opportunity-rich environments available to young adults:

• High degrees of freedom

• Limited real-world responsibility

• Access to new academic interests

• Exposure to diverse peers

• A safe and structured transition to independence

Most adults would gladly relive the experience. It is, in many ways, the young adult version of an ideal learning and living environment.

Perspective Matters

Compared to the real hardships families face around the world—serious illness, bereavement, divorce, or prolonged financial instability—the college process is minor. It is stressful, but it is stress born of abundance and opportunity, not deprivation.

My view: if the biggest issue on your family’s horizon is the college application cycle, you are navigating a fortunate challenge. And while the process can feel overwhelming, help, structure, and guidance can make it far easier for both you and your child.